Foreword

I guess this is the hard part. The introduction- the part wherein I am supposed to introduce myself to the world full of people WHO: 1. may only have the slightest interest on what I have to say and 2. who doesn’t care at all. What’s important though, is that I know exactly who I am.

Uh oh. There goes the inevitable question, the primary obstacle in this so called hard-intro-part.

My life is basically a series of ups and downs, so I guess who I am now is not the same as who I’ve been and who I am now may not be the same as who I will become in the future. See, I am who I wanted to be, but most of the time, I am who I needed to be.

During pre- school I was this happy-go-lucky kid who enjoys going to school just to receive praises from her teacher. I enjoyed being the teacher’s pet. Pre- school was the time I learned that children are not at all the same but they are not very different from one another either. The moment I set foot on the school grounds, what caught my attention was the crying of children who basically do not know what to do since their moms were not allowed to accompany them inside the classroom. You see, I was like, ‘Seriously. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.’ I really thought that was funny because unlike them, pulling away from mom’s grip was no big deal for me. It’s something I did willingly minus the wailing. So in pre-school I learned two things about myself. First is that I enjoy being the center of attention and second, I learned that at a very young age, I can stand on my own and discover the world around me without fear- I am independent.

Without fear, huh? Well, for the following years of my life my own self impression turned out to be nothing but just an impression of a brave kiddo. Through the years I’ve discovered many things about myself. Thanks to the countless times that I am extremely happy that I felt my heart was leaping for joy, also to the times that I am JUST okay, nothing more, nothing less. And of course, to the number of times I cried my heart out to sleep because my grandpa and my loving aunt both passed away unexpectedly, because I felt that I failed myself time and time again or because I had a fight with a friend, or I felt that mom just don’t understand, or because dad who has been my number one supporter of all time failed me for the very first time in my life, or because I had my heart broken. I am no longer the four year old kid who was not afraid to step out of her shell and show the world what she’s got. I felt vulnerable.

I’ve discovered my fears and my desire to be always on the spotlight slowly faded away. I understood that although this is my life, it doesn’t have to be about me all the time. There are the people I love.. Suddenly it’s not just about my happiness but their happiness too. At this point I’m proud to say that I love myself but I am definitely not self centered, I embrace life’s irony. I cry every time I feel like I failed but I wipe those tears, stand up and try to bounce back higher. I am happy when the people I cherish most are happy. I’d like to think that I am simple. But then again, my life’s a series of ups and downs. Tomorrow may require not just the simple ‘me’. So chances are, tomorrow I’ll be different. That being said, I can assure you that I’ll still be the person who:

Thank God for her wonderful life (major and minor details included!), laughs like she’s having the time of her life, loves her family and friends dearly, loves deeply, and ready for the world.